by popular demand
|Mom:||I just got my new iphone|
|Mom:||I was talking to Siri and said, "Call my daughter Kyoko"|
|Mom:||But she didn't understand me|
|Mom:||She instead gave me satellite feed of Japan|
|Mom:||So I changed your name in my phone to "Batman"|
|Mom:||"Siri, call my daughter Batman"|
|Mom:||Siri goes, "Is Batman your child?"|
|Mom:||I said yes, so then I hung up and pushed for Siri again and said, "Call my child"|
|Mom:||But then she just said, "Calling Mike Childs"|
|Me:||We need to work on your accent|
|Mom:||Well apparently I didn't know I had one until now.|
|Me:||Why are you still talking like Siri?|
|Mom:||I don't even know who I am anymore, Siri is making me question myself.|
These are my notes to the coroner
Clues with no compromise
Notes to the coroner
Details on my demise
— I’m at a loss for words. How could you let something like this happen?
— I don’t know.
— Well, surely there must have been a moment when you thought to yourself “Is this the right thing to do?”
— That would’ve been every moment. I’m not trying to say what I did was right.
— It’s not right.
— I don’t expect you to understand. But I love her.
- Mom, I’m gay.
- Oh well, now I could use the closet space for storage.
Just like that. She’s awesome (: