- Mom: I just got my new iphone
- Mom: I was talking to Siri and said, "Call my daughter Kyoko"
- Mom: But she didn't understand me
- Mom: She instead gave me satellite feed of Japan
- Mom: So I changed your name in my phone to "Batman"
- Mom: "Siri, call my daughter Batman"
- Mom: Siri goes, "Is Batman your child?"
- Mom: I said yes, so then I hung up and pushed for Siri again and said, "Call my child"
- Mom: But then she just said, "Calling Mike Childs"
- Me: We need to work on your accent
- Mom: Well apparently I didn't know I had one until now.
- Me: Why are you still talking like Siri?
- Mom: I don't even know who I am anymore, Siri is making me question myself.
These are my notes to the coroner
Clues with no compromise
Notes to the coroner
Details on my demise
— I’m at a loss for words. How could you let something like this happen?
— I don’t know.
— Well, surely there must have been a moment when you thought to yourself “Is this the right thing to do?”
— That would’ve been every moment. I’m not trying to say what I did was right.
— It’s not right.
— I don’t expect you to understand. But I love her.
- Mom, I’m gay.
- Oh well, now I could use the closet space for storage.
Just like that. She’s awesome (: